Follow our three gallant adventurers as the plunge deep into the wireless jungle that is the blogosphere. Read their inane ramblings, rants and daily musings that would otherwise not be fit to print. Thanks internet!


Reading isn't your thing? Don't worry! Every week the boys bring you the entirely unnecessary KaiBaiBoCast, a window into their daily lives teaching highly impressionable children and getting in trouble with the locals.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Hey, Do you know Nam-san Tower?



Hot new video making its rounds and I've got translations right here. All three
of us have spent our fair share of time in Itaewon, and I know I was a little
excited to see a tribute to it.

ITAEWON FREEDOM with ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS

신사숙녀 여러분 더이상의 음악은 없다
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no music anymore
더이상의 댄스도 없다
There is no dance
그들이 돌아왔다 UV
So UV came back

요즘 심심할때 뭐해
What are you doing
these days when you are bored
따분할땐 뭐해
What are you doing when you have nothing to do
어디서 시간때우나
Where will you kill time

강남 너무 사람많아
Too
many people in Gangnam
홍대 사람많아
Hongdae too
신촌은 뭔가부족해
Shinchon is not enough

알려주겠어 말해주겠어
I'm gonna tell it all, I'll tell it all
새로운 세상 그곳을말해봐
Tell me where the new world is
음악이있어 사랑도있어
Where there’s also love and music
세계가 있어 나에게 말해줘
There is a world, so tell me where

배달하는 집배원
The postman’s delivering things
물건파는 판매원
The salesman’s selling things
기타치는 김태원
The guitarist Kim Taewon
모두 모여 이태원
Everyone, Come to Itaewon

 
이태원 프리덤 찬란한 불빛
Itaewon Freedom, those dazzling lights, Oh!
이태원 프리덤 젊음이가득한 세상
Itaewon Freedom, a world full of youths
이태원 프리덤
Itaewon Freedom
알려주겠어 말해주겠어
I'm gonna tell it all, I'll tell it all


새로운 세상 그곳을말해봐
Tell me where the new world is
음악이있어 사랑도있어
Where there’s also love and music
세계가 있어 나에게 말해줘
There is a world, so tell me where

청소년은 대공원
Grand Park for children
노인들은 양로원
Nursing home for old people

아이들은 유치원
Kindergarten for kids

우리들은 이태원
Itaewon for us
x2

이태원 프리덤 찬란한 불빛
Itaewon Freedom, those dazzling lights, Oh!
이태원 프리덤 젊음이 가득한 세상
Itaewon Freedom, a world full of youths
이태원 프리덤JYP
Itaewon Freedom JYP
춤을춰요 모두 앞에서
Let’s dance in front of everyone
꿈을꿔요 여기서 모두
Let’s dream here, Everybody
사랑해요 모두 앞에서
Let’s love in front of everyone
노래해요 이태원 프리덤
Let’s sing Itaewon Freedom
x2

 
hope you enjoyed
-=Bo

Monday, March 28, 2011

KaiBaiBoCAST - 2011-03-26 - 'Tim'

Bai here,

Tim is a really good album by the Replacements - no, not the sucky movie staring Keanu Reeves, the awesome 80s rock band.

Tim is also this awesome guy we know from Boston who is leaving Korea after 3 years of teaching (and complaining about teaching) for brighter (edit: more polluted) pastures in Shanghai, China.

We recorded this podcast at Tim's going away party. Our theme started as 'Pet Peeves' about Korea in honor of Tim and his endless complaints about the country he loved. However, it quickly dissolved into us talking about Tim and his infinite troubles with his job, the ladies and people fucking him over.

The podcast didn't come out all that well, due to several unscheduled visitors (some with nice accents) and bad sound quality. But Kai and Bai polished that turd up with some superb commentary and editing skills and oula! A giant hunk of podcast gold.

Enjoy. And keep in mind, we really love Tim and even though we rag on him a lot in this podcast, it is done with love. He will be missed.


KaiBaiBoCAST - 2011-03-26 - 'Tim'

And remember: as the old saying goes: When life gives you lemons, you reply "Hey life, don't be such a huge dick. The fuck am I gonna do with these lemons?"

Sunday, March 20, 2011

KaiBaiBoCAST - 2011-03-13 - 'Tsunami Attack!'

The band is back together this week for a 3 man pod.

Following last weeks SNL, Brendan makes a Jackie Chan-like leap from the Charlie Sheen's full-speed crazy-mobile (fueled by tiger blood of course) to Miley Rae Cyrus's superstar bandwagon (before she gets too chunky to be on TV).

Next up the boys tackle the insane Tsunami in Japan and count down until the nuclear fallout transforms them all into horrible monsters.

They finish off with a story from Friday night's open mic / amateur rap night at Roofers; a bar in Korea's foreign district that's name deliciously conjures up images of date rape.

KaiBaiBoCast - 2011-03-13 - Tsunami Attack!

And remember, when Armageddon finally comes, not groping allowed in the fallout shelter.... i'm looking at you old Japanese businessman.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

F@&K You Sports! Part 1: "The Vancouver Grizzlies"

Hi there sports fans, Bai here.

I hear an awful lot of complaining by people around the internet who claim to be the most snake bitten sports city.

With great respect to my stable mate Chad and his fellow Clevelanders I have everybody beat.

Sure, the Bynum fumble left a bruise, and LeBron's decision was kinda like having your wife leave you for a career in MILF porn. But that's nothing compared to what I've gone through.

25 years, 0 championships, 3 finals, 3 teams re-located.

Here's is Part 1 of a 5 part mini-series titled "F&@K You Sports!"

PART 1: THE VANCOUVER GRIZZLIES




RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! No seriously, RAWR!
Prior to the NBA's brief fling with Vancouver I was a die-hard Sonics fan (more on them later). But with a pro team coming to my fair city I jumped on that bandwagon in all it's teal and brown glory.

The next 6 years were spent watching this:

1995: 15-67
1996: 14-68
1997: 19-63
1998: 8-42*
1999: 22-60
2000: 23-59

*strike shortened, because we have a fair and just God.

For all you math aficionados out there that is a combined 21.5% winning percentage. Just remarkable consistency.

But the records just don't do the parade of misery that was the Vancouver Grizzlies justice.

Teal
From their vomit-enducing jerseys (nothing says Basketball like Native American art!) to a draft record that would make the Clippers twitter "@VancouverGrizzlies WTF!? Really?” I still wake up every day thinking that Aston Kutcher and David Stern teamed up to play the world’s biggest practical joke on us.

After 6 years of what can only loosely be labeled 'basketball' the NBA and owner Michael Heisely put the Grizzlies out of their misery, and moved the whole franchise to Memphis.

High Points: The 1st game. Benoit Benjamin scored a team high as the Grizzlies beat the Trailblazers 92-80. After that, it was a rapid descent into the bowels of sucktitude.

Also, the day the team moved was pretty sweet as it freed me up to do more productive things, like watching Simpson's reruns.

Low Points: Too many to summarize without a book deal. The Grizz couldn't even name their team right. Owners originally named the team 'The Mounties" only to have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (those horseback riding cops with funny hats) sued to block them from using the mounties name. In response they changed their name to "Grizzlies", most likely because they knew bears don't have lawyers.

A good place to start looking at the Grizzlies parade of failure is looking at their draft record.

Pictured: Basketball pesonified

Season 1: Drafted Bryan Reeves with their 1st ever draft pick. Reeves was a chubby, crew-cut sporting, 7 foot tall farm boy from Oklahoma nicknamed "Big Country"; a pedigree that would be excellent if he were a Competitive Eater or Bass Fisherman. Reeves couldn't rebound or block shots and lumbered around the court with the style and grace of an overweight girl on prom night after her 2nd box of wine.

"GET THIS THING OFF ME!"
Season 3: After an uncharacteristically good pick in year 2 the Grizz returned to form and drafted Antonio Daniels with the fourth overall pick in year 3. Daniels, a point guard noted for his inability to pass and shoot, did not make the impact that they had hoped for.

Season 4: Drafted Mike Bibby (another point guard) because Daniels was just balls. That's kinda like going to a restaurant, getting just horrible food poisoning from their chicken, going back 2 days later and ordering the fucking chicken. Bibby was edible, if only because Daniels gave us diarrhea.

Season 5: Speaking of bowel movements, next up was the Steve Francis era. Here's how it went:

Grizzlies GM Stu Jackson: Hey Steve, we're thinking of taking you with the 2nd overall pick.

Steve Francis: Fuck that noise, I aint movin' to Canadia

Teal? Seriously?
Grizzlies GM Stu Jackson: Well we're going to take you anyways, even though you're an undersized, shoot first head-case who is likely to flame out faster than Lance Bass on a gay cruise.

Steve Francis: Well if you draft me, I aint comin'

Grizzlies GM Stu Jackson: That's ok, I’ll just draft you and trade you out of desperation for 4 guys nobody has ever heard of and a couple picks that we'll inevitable fuck up.

The Grizzlies draft pick of Steve Francis was kinda like forcing a girl to go out with you at gunpoint and then being surprised when she doesn't accept your wedding proposal. It was the beginning of the end for the franchise.

Season 6: In their last chance at redemption the Vancouver Grizzlies brain trust (who had neither brains, nor could be trusted) decided to pick a shot-blocker and rebounder from LSU named Stromile Swift.

Yes, you read that right: his name was Stromile.

He averaged 4.9 points / 3.6 rebs and a block a game. Stats that would leave one to believe that Stromile thought the basketballs were orange ghosts and ran away from them.

Biggest Heartbreak: It's tough to break a heart that never started beating. The Grizzlies weren't just a car stuck in neutral; they were up on a lift without an engine.

Next week: Les Expos

Sunday, March 13, 2011

KaiBaiBoCAST - 2011-03-05 - 'MaSheen!'


On today's podcast, Bo is missing! So it's a two man (sic) operation this week. The boys are the first podcast in internet history to comment on the Charlie Sheen slip into insanity.


After exhausting all material on the subject, Evan admits he would stay away from Charlie if they ran into each other at one of P Diddy's white parties. Then the boys touch on such topicals as that BYU kid who got kicked off the team for nailing his gf and Evan tells a story that ends with him in a bathtub watching Scrubs re-runs.


KaiBaiBoCast - 2011-03-05 - 'MaSheen'


And remember, you are all 'winning' in the eyes of the lord.